Caution: Construction in Progress

Recently, I have asked God to strip me of my entire being and to replace it only with what pleases Him. I asked Him humbly to take away my pride, my selfishness, my lack of self-motivation, my laziness, my tendency to judge and criticize, and my stubborness (not the good kind). I asked Him to forgive me. This week has been spiritual boot camp packed into the normalcy of everyday life, which is when spirituality is hardest to think about. Nothing truly spectacular happened, but I am more at peace than ever before.

I was grounded. Yes, I'm under 18 for still another month, and this is the first in a long time because I disrespected my parents and stayed past curfew multiple times. You know, looking back, it wasn't that big of a deal, but God wanted it. I know it. I lost my phone on a camping and rafting trip right after I was grounded (I was allowed to go to that because it was already planned and payed for). I knew this was God's way of showing me His approval of what had been set (this was after I searched through my luggage and purse and pillow and wet and dirty clothes and pockets and still couldn't find it). So I accepted it and waited to see what He'd do now that He had me to Himself. Well, He set to work. Through different things, He's been sifting through my crap and sanding my rough edges and cutting me down to make me a masterpiece. His masterpiece. Of course, He's still working. A lot. And He's got quite a bit more, but I love just letting Him settle everything and not worrying. Anything that happens I am so sure is in His plan.

Mom found my phone in my dirty laundry. I smiled when she told me. I had told my parents I wasn't at all worried about it, and that I wouldn't be at all surprised if it showed up right when my grounding ended. Personally, I think God made it show up because Daddy was more worried than me because Dad actually paid for my few hundred dollars sweet sixteen present.

Anyway, this was sort of a jumbled, I-can't-explain-it-but-I-have-to-tell-everyone thing, but thank you for getting through it if you did. The fact that it's 1 in the morning probably doesn't help my babbling either...

God bless you all! I hope this is encouraging to you, jumbled though it is :)

Funny

My dog Patch, or my mom's dog, is about nine years old or something like that. He is a shih-tzu and is very territorial about two things--Mom and his bear that Mom bought when she bought him. This particular bear would "growl" when shaken, and Patch loved tossing it around and licking it and basically treating it like a puppy. Well, I'm glad that he was not a father of puppies, because he would tear the stuffing out of that bear, and Mom had to perform multiple "surgeries" on it till it was done for. Completely torn apart. So Mom would search the store when she shop the pet stores for any toy that growled. Finally, she found a bull. Patch did not adopt it at first, but it is now his adopted baby.

Anyway, that was a really long rabbit trail that was supposed to be a short pre-blog entry. Anyway, I just remembered and laughed at something I remember happening about a month ago and decided it was a good thing to write down. Mom and I were having a really deep God conversation that I really needed to hear at that time, both of us probably needed it. I don't remember exactly what it was, but it was important enough that I wanted quiet. Patch started shaking his new bull and it was as loud as anything. I remember praying frustratedly to God, "Could you please make that thing be quiet?" Then all I heard was the thumping of bull on the floor, Patch furiously trying to shake sound into it, but failing. Eventually, he resorted to licking his sick bull that had become suddenly mute. I was in awed laughter and told Mom what had just happened, and we talked about God being in everyday life, even caring about the little things.

After we had finished our conversation and we had separated ways for a little bit, I came back. Patch was still shaking his bull. Mom laughed and said something to the effect of, "Brooke, now I'm going to have to find another growling toy. You broke it! Pray that God will fix it again." She laughed. Sure enough, a few seconds or minutes later, that bull started growling again.

I wrote this because that one thing was a reminder to me that we should let God in as an everyday part of our lives, and He will do amazing, even if small, wonders during your day. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "Pray without ceasing." Talking to God as a friend and companion, who is capable of stopping bullets better than Neo and loving better than Jack from the Titanic who let Kate Winslet have the stupid door, is a way to work toward achieving this divine goal.

Talents

My mind is honestly whirling around with so many things I want to say about God that it’s not even funny. I’m reading an incredible book, and I came to two realizations today. I will do them on individual blog entries, though, so people automatically skip over the long entries like I do sometimes.

Anyway, I’ll talk about one of my revelations. I was singing downstairs for the first time in a long time with my karaoke machine, and I was thinking about how cool it would be to one day sing love songs to my husband or boyfriend or something someday to let him know how much I appreciate him. And I would hope that he would appreciate the gift that I was offering him. But I realized that God is so much more than a husband will be (Sorry, Mr. Right). I should be offering myself to him and showing my devotion and practice a ton so that I may please Him and let Him know how much I appreciate what He does for me and for loving me unconditionally like no one else does, because I’m a hard person to deal with sometimes.

So I sang Him love songs and praise songs, because He desires me to love Him. He desires for me to let Him hold me without struggle so that He might comfort me and take care of my life that I mess up so frequently. I fell on my knees while singing “O Holy Night” to Him, because while I was singing it I recognized the fact that all oppression can cease because of Jesus Christ. God is inside of us, and if we let Him take over our lives we don’t need to worry or be oppressed.

So I wanted to put it out there that whatever talent you have, use it for God’s glory and to let Him know that you appreciate what He gave you to use for His glory. It’s just like the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30.) We should multiply what we are given, our talents, to give back to Him.

So that’s what was on my mind. I am praying that it will touch you in some way and that you will understand what I am thinking and feeling, because there’s no way I could put it into words.

God Bless!

Mother's Day

I would like to give a shout out to all the moms out there today because it's Mother's Day! I know for sure that it isn't misplaced in this blog because my mother has been a large part of my growth in God and Christ. 

How a mother raises you deeply affects who you are. I, personally, am so proud and honored to write this for her, something so small in comparison for everything she does for me. I am proud when people say that I'm like her, even though she probably thinks I get embarrassed, but I don't. Mostly. I am so blessed to have been raised by her and my dad because I would have been a totally different person without them. I know it's obvious, but strange to think about.

Mom has put up with so much. I'm not the cleanest or quickest or most gentle or unlaziest or most selfless person in the world, and she has to ask me something ten billion times before I think to do it. But she deals with it gracefully, and I'm attempting to be more responsible. Sometimes I even succeed now.

Also, pretty much every morning we'll talk about revelations we had and God and prayers. We'll read a daily devotion called Jesus Calling or something, too, and it really hits home most of the time. Even when I don't feel like talking about God and I'm pushing her away she'll read or talk and I'll just hit myself on the head. Then my day will be awesome and filled with potential for Christ.  I end up coming to a lot for her counsil, just like the ideal woman's kids ask for her advice in Proverbs 31.

I love you, Mom! Thank you for being there for me! Happy Mother's Day!

 

Cool Video

I found this video on YouTube when I was looking up things that would support the name A Shadow Proving Sunshine, and it is so amazing. The link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0r6qymvopw. Watch it!

L.A.

Once again, this mission trip to L.A. wasn't the most spiritual trip I went on, except for one part, which I will tell you about in a second.

I remember having a contest of who could bury themselves deepest in the really wet sand just by wiggling around, and I fell into the water wearing jeans and blouse because I didn't bring a bathing suit. That was fun. Some girls taught me how to put on make-up. And the mission trip group got to go shopping. We saw the Hollywood stars and a model car of the car from the movie Cars. I have a picture of it. I also have a picture of me in a group of girls with different awesome sunglasses on. Mine were root beer float glasses and I had on a B&W shirt on.  

 

One thing this trip did for me was get me on the road to being self-confident. I still have a long ways to go, but I realized that I was beautiful, there was something unique about me and that I was to embrace it. It made me happy. 

Also, up to this point, I was very cynical about a lot of spiritual stuff. One night, we had the Lord's Supper. People would pray with others, and those people would go out and pray with somebody else. There were a lot of people who were crying, and I scoffed pretty much. I would never do this. Now on this trip, I didn't have that many friends. I made some that I didn't know very well, but for the most part I was a wanderer. Anyway, a girl named Melissa came and prayed with me. She thanked God that I was such a good friend and that she was glad she had met me. It was nothing really spiritual, just that she liked me as a friend. And all of a sudden, I could feel something powerful in the room, and I nearly cried. I realized that it wasn't fake. God was there in that room that night.

So that was the starting point of really knowing God personally. L.A. 2006

First Mission Trip

For every mission trip, you learn something different. My first one was in eighth grade, and we went to Mobile, Alabama. It wasn't much of an impact on me spiritually, but I learned about my love of helping people. I wanted to give my all, go the extra mile. So, even though this isn't much of a post, I think it's important to document all that has affected my walk with God because nothing is irrelevant. Nothing.

God's Love

                I was going to start out the blog with all my mission trip experiences that I've ever had that had changed my life, but now I find myself on my knees smiling and crying and needing to tell the world.

                You hear the phrase "God loves you" so much that we rarely stop, truly stop, and think about what it means.  What does love mean? When you love someone, what do you do? I'm not talking about the friendship love either, although God is that to us, too.  I'm talking about the marital, romantic love.

                God, Christ, is described as our bridegroom and that we should be ready for when He comes.  God longs for us; He yearns and desires to be one with us, for us to let him in.  He longs for us in a similar way that men and women desire their spouses.  Even is a demonstration of God’s love for us.  It is a beautiful gift from God (one that I have never experienced, though) that makes two people one flesh.  It is metaphorical for the passion and pleasure we will have when we can completely let God into our hearts in heaven - free of worry and pain and sin and everything that keeps us from God. 

                God finds us beautiful, too.  He designed us and said that His work was "very good." And we have supernatural abilities that He gave to us as well.  He made us in His image.  We can love and invent and think, a characteristic different from anything else on this planet.  He gave us that, and He finds that beautiful as well.  He loves each of us.  He corrects when He sees that something inside is hurting us and therefore hurting the relationship with Him.  I always imagine God sad when he has to teach us a lesson when we do not acknowledge, or even turn away from His gentle nudging at our hearts.

                So, today, I read Song of Solomon.  I had heard that this book was supposed to be a metaphor of Christ's love for the Church from a lot of people, but I never really got it.  I actually thought that it might just be one of those religious theories that tried to explain the presence of sex and pleasure and everything in the Bible.  I've found out recently that I hope it isn't just a scheme.  I would love a love like that from God! I want passion in a relationship, and He does, too.

Jesus Christ asks big things of people when they want to follow Him.  He says to give up possessions.  To deny yourself and follow Him.  These things only a person completely in love would do.  Just as you would dream for someone to love you so much as to give away everything for you, so God desires you.  God gave His Son for you.  He watched as they beat Him to a pulp and pulled off His beard and drove nails into His hands, and God did not relieve Him of this burden because He knew that it would help Him be closer to you. 

                By giving His Son, He now has an ultimate relationship with you.  No longer is He just with you, He is in you, if you believe what He did for you.  We are no longer blocked by sin, and He can come into us.  We have God inside us, the Holy Spirit - supernatural power inside of us! If only we can cleanse our hearts of everything that keeps Him out, what pure joy that would be! I can’t wait for the day when we are in heaven and these things that hinder our relationship with God are no more.

                I want the passion of a lover, the closeness of a best friend, the protection of a father, and the infallibility of God.  And He is all of that.  I am so thankful that I have Him and can live at peace knowing that He loves me and wants the best for me.  To know that everything, good or bad, happens for a reason is so reassuring.  Our reactions to these trials can either bring us closer to God, which is what He wants, or it can drag us down and away.

                I just wanted to write this for those struggling or those seeking love.  I want you to know that God loves you.  Really loves you.

               

 

Introduction to Everything

I believe that every experience - every hard time, every spiritual high, every answered prayer, every mission trip, every fast - is a chance for God to come closer to you as an individual. Each and every experience helps a different place in your heart and betters your relationship with God and shapes you into the person He wants you to be, something stunningly beautiful, dazzling to everyone around. In this blog, I want to write out these experiences and hopefully others', too, so that I may glorify Him and show Him my devotion and awe.